when i am gone

do u sometimes get the feeling that u are truman burbank? the character jim carrey played in 'the truman show'? where ur life is just one big tv show, just like one big reality movie and you dont even know it. your life and how u lead it, has been pre-planned, no matter what you do. guess we all go through this phase once in a while..its like being stood up at your very own birthday party coz u're not the popular guy in school or work, where the chicks would rather do their hair than do u.


ytd was not quite wat i expected, what i didn't expect was seeing mark there and i got hit myself for not inviting him personally. anyways, something happened ytd that got me thinking about myself and my surroundings...something that i got figure out for myself, coz no one knows me...not even me. guess i got some soul searching to do and till then, i am on my own. sometimes, i really need someone to talk to but i don't know where to start. if i do, i won't be sure if u will be able to understand it. so till then, i am on this alone...

lessson in life

today taught me a valuable lesson in life. a lesson that will change the way i see a few thing.....

someday i'll be saturday night!

it's saturday finally, the day i've been waiting all week long! thanks to all my peeps who stood by my through the week and help me make it through (you know who u are). today is THE day to let loose and party, with beautiful people! hee hee..just can't wait for tonight! good news is that fiz might be able to make it tonight, she'll be great company and no, there's nothing going on btwn us. anwyays, fiz got a present for joanne oredi and i;ve not, shucks! might be meeting fiz after mass to get the pressie, if she's able to make it tonight that is. if not, i'll be on my own scouting for a pressie.


really can't wait for tonight and wish that it could last forever and i dont have to face another day of work. maybe i'll just resign once my probation period is over and take a break and go to thailand, and then get a new job. hows that for a plan?? but i know some will disagree and will encourage me leave sooner..hahaha. well, hope things will turn better for me. but for now, i;m outta here...goona hit the shower and to get breakfast!

old times

feeling sleepy and tired, so a blog before i shut my eyes. was on the train back and was thinking back of the times we had at 925, all the late night coffees and the company. really missed it all and most of all i missed my fiends. could we do it all over agan? maybe next mth when x'mas is in the air. This sat will be a good start at obar, i guess i'm gonna have loads of fun. have to survive till sat then!


on a side note, we celebrated my eldest niece b'day on sun. while there, we all herd my 4 yr old nephew, rap to westlife, 'day after day....' and it totally rocked! :)


okie thats all about it, the eyes are closing.

paying it forward

another weekend gone... didn't enjoy much of it anyway and it's monday tmr!! i hate mondays and i hate my life at the moment! nothing seem to be going my way. i was pondering the fact about resigning, thought it over and i guess its the best option at the moment. i am just not happy of late..not been myself. as u can see from my previous blog posts. its a tearjearker, if only there were awards for it; I will do a peter jackson!


well, i have nothing against the people there,(now that sound so cliche) they are just great, very helpful. its just the extra work that is slowly killing me. i took this job, so i could find the time to upgrade myself, hopefully start dating girls and find the right one. ;p but i can't do that working 14 hrs; and so i would like to quote queen, "i want to break free!". free to be myself again... to be able to love again...or more like to win the love of someone again. someone i terribly i miss right now. i feel closer to the ones furthest to me at the moment. no one really knows what i'm going thru right now and somehow it really touched me when someone i didnt really know personally, knew there was something wrong and hugged me. it one of those things that one would brushed apart coz the person wasnt the one that u were hoping for. (i am guilty of that too) but somehow that day, it meant something and it really touched me. i guess God sent his angels in various ways. i have had my own share of angels who have helped me along the way.


which bring me to the point of how people can lose faith in HIM so easily just because their prayers were not answered. have we taken into account the ppl who might have come along and offered help but were brushed aside, cause we were all waiting for some divine intervention from above?? even if our prayers were not answered, aren't we thankful to see another day of sunrise? another day for us to reconcile with HIM no because we want our prayers to be answered but to better understand our real purpose here on earth. we can't do miracles but we can lead by example, no matter wot religion u maybe, it teaches us to be good and to lead by example. if only we all could pay it forward! a simple rule which is hard to follow. i'm not out to change the world, i'm just out to change me and u!

hanging on....

another week gone, the weekends ard the corner!! its been a hectic week, been working like 14 hrs the whole week. hopefully i could get off early tmr. there were times during the week that i told myself that i couldnt take the stress no more and i seriously wanted to tender. life aint worth wot i go through sometimes. but somehow after constantly talking to the Big Guy above, things somehow works through and after a while, i think that its not that bad after all. hope tmr will be a great day for me and everything will go on smoothly.


Yo, Ramli! u with the family...you make us manly! Ramli is good, good malaysian food. Ramlie is good, eat it like you should......anybody for Ramli???


we now return you to your regular programming.


got so much to blog but the mind is tired and i am tired. till next time...good morning!

heartbroken

you said your goodbyes today
never though it would end up this way
as it hardly even started
we're leaving each other at hello!

ISP

btw, can anybody trace or do know whose isp address is this 202.156.6.35. If u do, do let me know, thanks!!

rainmakers

another weekend's gone, had fun though! that wld be sunday when i met up with fiona & patrick/sharon & joe/murali & crystal...yea, as u can see i was the only single one there but nonetheless, i had fun. we went to settler's cafe at bouna vista or shld it be considered hv, as it was just behind wala wala. we had lunch there and played some card games till like half pass six.. after which was a movie at tiong bahru.. the exorcism of emily rose! a must see movie; three am will never be the same again. on the way back had a good conversation with patrick & fiona. i must say that they are so compatitable together! :)


i had a day off today...well kind of! we had to attend a kick off rally for fy06 at seletar country club. it was a whole day event, seminars and games inclusive. we all had fun i guess, there were a few eye candies around that made the day! ;) but alas every good thing has to come to an end, our team came in second in the games category! hip hip horray! we will do this again next year!



for now, its the bed for me...zzzzzzzzzzzzz. can't wait for next weekend!

thanks april for your concern, i;m doing good! :)

My Space

Add MySpace Records as your friend!

the tooth strikes back!

the empire strikes back!!! just when everything seems to going fine, the tooth decides to create havoc and man, its painful. i have taken two panadols and i;m drowsing off but the pain is still there....did i take the right one??/ will brb, gonna take the right pain killers!! (we will be right back after this commercials) *coughs coughs coughs* take cough syrup; if it doesn't work, it;s you! (we now return you to your regular programmes). I think i initally took the cod relief panadol and of course it didnt work, so i manage to get the right panadol this time. now i feel more drowsy then ever... but if i go now, my viewership will drop and no one will return to my blog again. so i must hang on and entertained my fans out there! to go where no bloggers have gone!! and that is ........ well,i'm not sure about you but i'm going to bed!! :p good nite!

to the ones who have come up to me

or tagged

thanks for your concern!

i really appreciate it!

:)

rain

2 more days to the weekend. work has been the same, i'm almost meeting the dateline tmr...well, almost. i hope things will look better as time go by.


i need to chill
i need to heal
these wounds i have
it aint healing!
hoping for a better tmr
but always expecting the worse!
hope it will rain tonight!
rain sweet rain.
good night!


...................looking forward to the weekend!

a meaning to life..?

well, monday was good! its was like the worst day in my history of life. never have i hated life so much that i wanted to end it all. its true when they say, 'work can kill you!'. didnt really enjoy my weekend much, was stressing myself to much till i felt sick, had a very high fever on sunday night. wasnt sure how i survive monday admist everything that i was getting faulted for. it was real bad that i had skip lunch and had my first meal of the day, 20 mins after midnight. go figure!


however, today wasn't so bad. guess somebody out there must have said a prayer for me. although i got screamed at my boss twice, it wasnt as bad as monday when i was practically under her mercy. i guess it made me understand alot of things and made a better person. 'to be a better person, we have to fall once in awhile!' well, i hope the today will get better tmr. i've not fully recovered from my sickness and the cough just made its entrance. and as i get older, it just worst! oh well, the body is slowing down. not as young as i used to be.


good night!

the good friend

‘The Good Friend’

The good friend

Is always there

Is always faithfulIs always supportive

The good friend

Loves unconditionally

Forgives easily

Forgets every wrong

The good friend

Cries over you

Cries for you

Cries with you

The good friend

Gets hurt

Gets walked on

Gets left behind

The good friend

Never has anyone

Never asks

Never gets

I HATE being

The good friend!

Amanda Wearstler

life

just love the new song by mariah, taking into account that i didn't really like her from her previous albums. maybe its becoz her song from this album striked a cord or two...failed relationship and all the crap. life hasn't been good and skydiving has been on my mind of late. i really feel that my life has no meaning, i am not sure why i am here. love is never for me to experienced but the hurt is always. got loads of things to say but i'm just too sleepy and tired. hope tmr will be a good day and the weeks to come.

Don't Forget About Us

MARIAH CAREY

"Don't Forget About Us"

[Intro:]

(Don't forget about us)

Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go

No baby, no baby, no baby no

Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go

My baby boy...

[Verse 1]

Just let it die

With no goodbyes

Details don't matter

We both paid the price

Tears in my eyes

You know sometimes

It'd be like that baby

[Bridge 1]

Now everytime I see you

I pretend I'm fine

When I wanna reach out to you

But I turn and I walk and I let it ride

Baby I must confess

We were bigger than anything

Remember us at our best

And don't forget about

[Chorus]

Late nights, playin' in the dark

And wakin' up inside my arms

Boy, you'll always be in my heart and

I can see it in your eyes

You still want it

So don't forget about us

I'm just speaking from experience

Nothing can compare to your first true love

So I hope this will remind you

When it's for real, it's forever

So don't forget about us

[Verse 2]

Oh they say

That you're in a new relationship

But we both know

Nothing comes close to

What we had, it perseveres

That we both can't forget it

How good we used to get it

[Bridge 2]

There's only one me and you

And how we used to shine

No matter what you go through

We are one, that's a fact

That you can't deny

So baby we just can't let

The fire pass us by

Forever we'd both regre

So don't forget about

[Chorus]

[Rap]

And if she's got your head all messed up now

That's the trickery

She'll wanna have like you know how this lovin' used to be

I bet she can't do like me

She'll never be MC

Baby don't you, don't you forget about us

[Chorus x2]

Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go

No baby, no baby, no baby no

Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go

When it's for real, it's forever

So don't forget about us.

somebody to love

mariah carey is on the radio and my thoughts are with u. its songs like this that i wish that i had u with me. wondering wot are u doing now although i know i'm furthest from your mind at the moment, but thats life. to be in love with someone that is totally out of my reach, now that just me. hahaha...


on a brighter note i finally learned how to fly...er i mean...fry, fry an egg that is. well, my previous attempts always resulted it in being smashed or mashed up but today i manage an almost perfect egg, well....almost! but anyhow dinner was good today, thanks to the egg. i am so happy tha i wish i could sing...

"dont you wish ur bf could cook like me

dont you wish ur bf could fry like me

dont you.."

or maybe i;m just too tired. gd nitez!

holiday

i'm bored. it's a holiday and yet i feel the uneasiness, knowing i got loads of work to clear. still contemplating abt going back to work today. its times like this that i wish i had someone. don't think i could survive in this job if it carries on this way. can't really cope taking the added responsibilty. life sucks at times! wish i had u by my side telling me what to do, & to pick me up whenever i fall. i'll love you to bits & pieces...but your world is different from mine. you have a brighter world out there with brighter prospects, whereas i'm living here where everything day is the same like the other, till it feels a lot like 'the truman show'. living in a world where the rich have it all and we're just their pawns...their puppets. *sigh* maybe i should just get laid and i'll feel much better. i think its been damn too long since my last rendeavous but i guess rendeavous aren't healthy and i should either have a buddy or someone who loves me, if i am making any sense here..or maybe a discreet realtionship. any takers??? actually i would be surprised if there would be any....hahahaha.

happy deepavali

&

selamat hari raya adilfirtri

little prayer

sigh...not looking forward to work tmr. somehow when things are looking up for me, work has to suck at times. the level of stress and workload is not other that i have experienced. i'm just learning to cope with it and not to break down...although i almost did on monday with this new added responsibility. its like i told a friend of mine, every job has its own stress and my new added stress is the security of people out there. new datelines to meet and new people to please, on top of my current ppl to please. well, there's always the downside of every job but the upside of it, i get to interact with every level of management. so hopefully through hardwork, i'll able to make it one day. but for now, i'm not really looking forward to work tmr as i have thousand and one things to do and three to four datelines to meet. *sigh* hope i'll be able to meet it by this week.

"And she said "somebody must be prayin' for me.

Somebody out there must be prayin' for me.

Must be angels I can't see

Somebody must be prayin' for me"

-tim mcgraw

who ever it maybe, i just need your prayers now more than ever.