the week didn't start off good...received a msg from fiz that she got into arguement with her friend whom has an interest in her; he is jealous of me being too close with her. we didnt manage to talk abt it as she wasn't feeling well and she needed sometime alone. it made me realise how much this gal has affected me. On top of that, work hasnt been kind to me the whole week. I finally broke down at work ytd. i guess i couldn't hold back the tears and just poured. thanks to perry & aloysius for being there for me. so my last day of work for the yr 05 ended on a sour note.
after work, i headed down to church to help out in the 'Youth Bash'. the turn out was a bit okie. the group that turn out was abit more younger than expected and man, the songs there were asking for. Thank God for Pat who have her laptop but still kids these days cannot appreciate. Come on, 'in da club' is not a brillant song writing. had fun though, maybe nexy year will be better.
chalet later today. hoping and wishing that she can make it. :)
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
another day
another christmas come and gone...i'm a bit high from drinks and tired while blogging this! first and foremost i would like thank those who have tagged or have come by personally, i thank you! I really appreciate it.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
life sucks!!!!
fucked up big time at work today! feeling like shit and really want out of here. its not worth doing what i;m doing, it totally sucks coz the mistakes are always magnified. life sucks at the moment, in fact the moment when i joined here nothing seem to be going my way. keeping everything to myself at the moment coz i do not know whom i am to share; not sure if anyone would understand what i am going through. sometimes i do not understand myself - is it me or the work and shit i am going through. a day to christmas eve, and things are looking down. i just hate my life at the moment!! its just so screwed up! i want outta here!!!
went for confessions ytd, hoping to seek answers but receive none. never have i felt so empty ytd...felt that even the big guy up there has given up on me! it make me think of 'skydiving' but i know thats not the answer. life sucks, so do i.
went for confessions ytd, hoping to seek answers but receive none. never have i felt so empty ytd...felt that even the big guy up there has given up on me! it make me think of 'skydiving' but i know thats not the answer. life sucks, so do i.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
my wish list
All I want for christmas is.... :p
Ebay auction for 8-foot LEGO Star Wars Rebel Attack Cruiser
"Own a one-of-a-kind 8-foot LEGO Rebel Attack Cruiser™ model designed by LEGO Master Builder Erik Varszegi..."
Ebay auction for 8-foot LEGO Star Wars Rebel Attack Cruiser
"Own a one-of-a-kind 8-foot LEGO Rebel Attack Cruiser™ model designed by LEGO Master Builder Erik Varszegi..."
sunday before x'mas
yea, finally my christmas tree is up! spend half a day putting up my 6½ feet tree, but i think i have lost my touch, it doesnt look good this year....same as last year. guess i have to shop for new decos for the tree next year, maybe get a new tree too. i loved my friend's christmas tree last year, it was really beautiful and big, wonder what tree they got this year....yea, they threw away the last one. :p
its only a week to christmas and i don't feel a thing. whats up with that??? has modern civilsation caught up with me that i can't picture myself in a stable a thousand years ago, where a little child was born. the little child who has in a way been taken over by santa and hence the whole modern civlisation has covered the true meaning of christmas in order to capitalised on profit making. the whole idea of christmas has been too commercialised that one day we might think its santa's birthday!! And just look at what they have in the movies this year, Santa's Slay!? its like saddam in a santa's suite...yea, pray u are not in his list. man, what happened to good old fahsioned holiday movies like 'home alone', 'die hard' & 'lethal weapon' :p but seriously for those who remembered 'lethal weapon' and 'die hard', it had this classic x'mas song for the opening credits that just stick with u and make u feel chrismasy.
feeling christmasy? is there such a word?? if there is, i am certainly not feeling any. even being at yesterday caroling session, didn't lift my spirit one bit and just finding out that liverpool didn't win the world club championship; what more can i say. i guess my work has really gotten into me. it has not given me any space to breathe and to be me. even at mass today, where i attended the evening mass i almost broke down, which almost happened during the week also...but i know one day i will not be able to be strong anymore, so before i crash and burn, i guess it will be a good choice for me to look somewhere else. this life in the fast lane ain't for me and all the shit i am going thorough is certainly not worth it. which brings me to think, what is life all about for me! what's my reason living in this world?! can anybody answer me that or answer yourself? why are we here? are we here for some experimental project where aliens are actually our creator and we are just their experiment. once in a while, they would visit us and see how we are doing. the reason why america has most sightings is becoz they aliens are wondering what got so screwed up over there. ;p maybe they shld just 'take' bush and some 'experiments' on him....or maybe they already did, hence his fondness for saddam...hmmmmmmmm. ;p such is life. maybe it's brush up not beat up...bang up???? okie okie, i don't want to go any further, i guess it runs in the family, the father and son fondess for saddam!! which reminds of a song by level 42, 'running in a family'! okie, okie i think i better stop here, before i 'run riot' (def leppard). ;p
it's half past ten, and i'm listening to bon jovi live in concert on winamp. 'i am six feet under and i don't need a bed. i'll live my life when i am alive, i'll sleep when am i dead!' to those who went for the opening of 'ministry of sound'...damn, i wish i was there!!! lol. that's defintely gonna be my next club visit, next to 'the balcony'. for those who are with me, 'raise your hand, from new york to chicago, raise your hand'! yes, you got to keep the faith, we will be there to countdown x'mas!! talking abt x'mas eve, i absouely have no idea what's the plan this year since we are not doing the x'mas eve mass for once....or maybe the second time. the very first was when i just joined the choir and we had to sing at this private function of some young exec (yuppies). it was a nice bungalow house with a live size christmas tree at the front door, that was like in 87/89? we ended just at the stroke of midnight and rushed to novena for the midnight mass which was half way thru, some of the girls were still in our choir gowns as they weren't appro dress.
yea, those were the years of non air-con bus so we could shout to the bus stop or to sbs bus, 'merry christmas' and startled everyone in the bus or at the bus stop! but it can be quite embrassing when the bus manage to stop beside us at the traffic light! this is when we take cover behind our hanged uniforms. there was this other time where we had our usual caroling session at 'bayview hotel', the keyboard just had its mind of its own and played dead. so we had to sing the whole session accapella, it was real bad and that was the last time we ever heard from the hotel and so did mph on a different year! well, u win some, u lose some but most of all, i had fun caroling with the choir for ten years and now its for the new generation to have their own experience and have a story to tell one day! :)
well, the year started good for me but somehow got a bit on the down side but although it has not picked up, i am glad that i met someone that made me happy and she didn't come at a much better time than now, where i really needed someone to lean on and make me laugh. she's my good and best friend now, and i thank god for sending her to me even though our culture & religion are different. she has told me that i have re-open up her heart and made her see that there are good guys out there and she will take a chance again next year. she's willing to kick her old habits and start the new year on a right foot. she is the most sweetest thing that has happen to me and once again, i thank god for her. i am hoping though she will spend x'mas eve and also new year's eve with me, keeping my fingers crossed! new year's eve will be at my colleague's chalet at pasir ris costa sands, i think! not sure what's x'mas eve plan at the moment, so if u guys got a plan let me know. in the meantime, to everyone out there who happen to read my blog, hope u enjoyed reading it as much as i did tying it...hahahah!! Have youself a merry beautiful christmas where ever you may be!! God Bless you and your family!! :)
its only a week to christmas and i don't feel a thing. whats up with that??? has modern civilsation caught up with me that i can't picture myself in a stable a thousand years ago, where a little child was born. the little child who has in a way been taken over by santa and hence the whole modern civlisation has covered the true meaning of christmas in order to capitalised on profit making. the whole idea of christmas has been too commercialised that one day we might think its santa's birthday!! And just look at what they have in the movies this year, Santa's Slay!? its like saddam in a santa's suite...yea, pray u are not in his list. man, what happened to good old fahsioned holiday movies like 'home alone', 'die hard' & 'lethal weapon' :p but seriously for those who remembered 'lethal weapon' and 'die hard', it had this classic x'mas song for the opening credits that just stick with u and make u feel chrismasy.
feeling christmasy? is there such a word?? if there is, i am certainly not feeling any. even being at yesterday caroling session, didn't lift my spirit one bit and just finding out that liverpool didn't win the world club championship; what more can i say. i guess my work has really gotten into me. it has not given me any space to breathe and to be me. even at mass today, where i attended the evening mass i almost broke down, which almost happened during the week also...but i know one day i will not be able to be strong anymore, so before i crash and burn, i guess it will be a good choice for me to look somewhere else. this life in the fast lane ain't for me and all the shit i am going thorough is certainly not worth it. which brings me to think, what is life all about for me! what's my reason living in this world?! can anybody answer me that or answer yourself? why are we here? are we here for some experimental project where aliens are actually our creator and we are just their experiment. once in a while, they would visit us and see how we are doing. the reason why america has most sightings is becoz they aliens are wondering what got so screwed up over there. ;p maybe they shld just 'take' bush and some 'experiments' on him....or maybe they already did, hence his fondness for saddam...hmmmmmmmm. ;p such is life. maybe it's brush up not beat up...bang up???? okie okie, i don't want to go any further, i guess it runs in the family, the father and son fondess for saddam!! which reminds of a song by level 42, 'running in a family'! okie, okie i think i better stop here, before i 'run riot' (def leppard). ;p
it's half past ten, and i'm listening to bon jovi live in concert on winamp. 'i am six feet under and i don't need a bed. i'll live my life when i am alive, i'll sleep when am i dead!' to those who went for the opening of 'ministry of sound'...damn, i wish i was there!!! lol. that's defintely gonna be my next club visit, next to 'the balcony'. for those who are with me, 'raise your hand, from new york to chicago, raise your hand'! yes, you got to keep the faith, we will be there to countdown x'mas!! talking abt x'mas eve, i absouely have no idea what's the plan this year since we are not doing the x'mas eve mass for once....or maybe the second time. the very first was when i just joined the choir and we had to sing at this private function of some young exec (yuppies). it was a nice bungalow house with a live size christmas tree at the front door, that was like in 87/89? we ended just at the stroke of midnight and rushed to novena for the midnight mass which was half way thru, some of the girls were still in our choir gowns as they weren't appro dress.
yea, those were the years of non air-con bus so we could shout to the bus stop or to sbs bus, 'merry christmas' and startled everyone in the bus or at the bus stop! but it can be quite embrassing when the bus manage to stop beside us at the traffic light! this is when we take cover behind our hanged uniforms. there was this other time where we had our usual caroling session at 'bayview hotel', the keyboard just had its mind of its own and played dead. so we had to sing the whole session accapella, it was real bad and that was the last time we ever heard from the hotel and so did mph on a different year! well, u win some, u lose some but most of all, i had fun caroling with the choir for ten years and now its for the new generation to have their own experience and have a story to tell one day! :)
well, the year started good for me but somehow got a bit on the down side but although it has not picked up, i am glad that i met someone that made me happy and she didn't come at a much better time than now, where i really needed someone to lean on and make me laugh. she's my good and best friend now, and i thank god for sending her to me even though our culture & religion are different. she has told me that i have re-open up her heart and made her see that there are good guys out there and she will take a chance again next year. she's willing to kick her old habits and start the new year on a right foot. she is the most sweetest thing that has happen to me and once again, i thank god for her. i am hoping though she will spend x'mas eve and also new year's eve with me, keeping my fingers crossed! new year's eve will be at my colleague's chalet at pasir ris costa sands, i think! not sure what's x'mas eve plan at the moment, so if u guys got a plan let me know. in the meantime, to everyone out there who happen to read my blog, hope u enjoyed reading it as much as i did tying it...hahahah!! Have youself a merry beautiful christmas where ever you may be!! God Bless you and your family!! :)
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
sms
24 sweet hours makes 1 sweet day
7 sweet days makes 1 sweet week
4 sweet weeks makes 1 sweet month
and
1 sweet person like you makes my
whole life sweet..
Thanks for being someone wonderful in my life
7 sweet days makes 1 sweet week
4 sweet weeks makes 1 sweet month
and
1 sweet person like you makes my
whole life sweet..
Thanks for being someone wonderful in my life
Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)"
"Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)"
[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.
[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
-Dedicated to someone i use to love-
[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.
[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
-Dedicated to someone i use to love-
Monday, December 12, 2005
missing u
its just one of the those days where u guess life aint worth living. for the amount of shit u have to take almost everyday, u think to urself, is it worth it. its just one of those days where i wished u were here with me and i could seek refuge in yr arms and just get lost.
it jsut one of those day that i really miss u much!
it jsut one of those day that i really miss u much!
missing u
its just one of the those days where u guess life aint worth living. for the amount of shit u have to take almost everyday, u think to urself, is it worth it. its just one of those days where i wished u were here with me and i could seek refuge in yr arms and just get lost.
it jsut one of those day that i really miss u much!
it jsut one of those day that i really miss u much!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
and the reason is you!
its like 2 weeks to christmas and it certainly doesnt feel like christmas esp when u are dead broke. hahahaa.....sigh. hope we would get our pay before x'mas and not after....we are keeping our fingers crossed!
was kinda upset by a remark i heard ytd and it got me thinking why must we always be so stereo-minded. i am sure the one i met would not cheat or lie to me and there's nothing going on at the moment between us. so y conclude that she's going to betraye me someday, altough it maybe a point to take note of but i dont think she's like that but (again) i thank you for your concern. i hope u could meet her one day and you'll know what she is like!
anyways, she ask me ytd, while on the phone with me, whats the reason of me being so happy, i replied, "you!" and we kinda open up more to each other. :) i've asked her along for x'mas eve mass but she's still deciding abt it. it will be nice to have her spend x'mas with me and new years eve also. lets see how things go!! she's in malaysia now on a short trip with her friends and i'm not quite missing...yet! maybe becoz of the message she left me before she left thats she's gonne miz me. :) looking forward to her return with my present! hee hee....
was kinda upset by a remark i heard ytd and it got me thinking why must we always be so stereo-minded. i am sure the one i met would not cheat or lie to me and there's nothing going on at the moment between us. so y conclude that she's going to betraye me someday, altough it maybe a point to take note of but i dont think she's like that but (again) i thank you for your concern. i hope u could meet her one day and you'll know what she is like!
anyways, she ask me ytd, while on the phone with me, whats the reason of me being so happy, i replied, "you!" and we kinda open up more to each other. :) i've asked her along for x'mas eve mass but she's still deciding abt it. it will be nice to have her spend x'mas with me and new years eve also. lets see how things go!! she's in malaysia now on a short trip with her friends and i'm not quite missing...yet! maybe becoz of the message she left me before she left thats she's gonne miz me. :) looking forward to her return with my present! hee hee....
Monday, December 05, 2005
thank you
almost forgot that we were singing that elvis song last fri night
what started it, we're still wondering
but what i know is you make me smile always
we laugh at almost everything no matter how silly it may be
not sure what my world will be without u
what started it, we're still wondering
but what i know is you make me smile always
we laugh at almost everything no matter how silly it may be
not sure what my world will be without u
my soul to keep
my stomach feels hungry but i'm too tired n lazy to get something. was watching central a while ago, one of those shah rukh khan movies and it made me wonder, will i ever find love. i guess i have forgotten who to love as my work has taken ninety-five percent of my time and life away. tmr is another day at work which i am not looking forward too..my life now is without any direction or future. to god, i would want to surrender my spirit if God if its his will. so i dont awake to see the light tmr...know that i'll be looking over u. the eyes are tired and so i shall retire.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
liverpool
yes another victory for liverpool which brings them to 2nd place, thanks to bolton who beat arsenal 2-0 and if portsmouth can do the same thing against man u. liverpool will remained at second place, but not forgetting that liverpool has a game in hand. it will be good for man u to lose to portsmouth, so we will remained 2nd place. also this is great time for chelsea to slip pts and the title will be an open race again. another good news for liverpool is crouch finally scored. tis the season to jolly!
anyways, gotta get up in like 4hrs time for mass tmr again. i guess this is the first time we're doing the 0745hrs mass on a sunday...guess its gonna be alright.
anyways, gotta get up in like 4hrs time for mass tmr again. i guess this is the first time we're doing the 0745hrs mass on a sunday...guess its gonna be alright.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
marche
people talk about getting high and drunk at clubs and friends parties. well, ytd must be the first for me, i got high and almost threw up at marche! now u might be thinking how did that happened. well, for a start, it was a litre of erdinberg shared btwn two of us, thinking that we could finish it. the problem is marche at heeren got nothing much to offer on food unlike suntec where there's alot more varities. so we were left with little food choice and a litre of beer to finish. so my friend had a great idea of timing each other and see how long we can hold our drink. so we took turns...and surprisingly my friend could hold her drink longer than me. alas, we finished erdinberg and i really felt like throwing up but thank god we left the place and the walking helped.
met up with jp outside heeren and it was pouring. took about ten mins to decide wot we're gonna do next and decided to get more drinks. so jp n i got e33 while my fren had some wine (which apparently is with me now...lol). so we were deciding where to chill out with jp sis called her and we met up with her. finally we found a place beside wisma and just set there and talked till abt oneish and adjourned to macs near pacfic plaza. by then the day toils has taken on me, and i really missed my bed. so to home i finally went, to bed i finally slept.
well, things were pretty weird at times but i guess i enjoyed myself ytd. and i am really glad that i spend it with the someone.
met up with jp outside heeren and it was pouring. took about ten mins to decide wot we're gonna do next and decided to get more drinks. so jp n i got e33 while my fren had some wine (which apparently is with me now...lol). so we were deciding where to chill out with jp sis called her and we met up with her. finally we found a place beside wisma and just set there and talked till abt oneish and adjourned to macs near pacfic plaza. by then the day toils has taken on me, and i really missed my bed. so to home i finally went, to bed i finally slept.
well, things were pretty weird at times but i guess i enjoyed myself ytd. and i am really glad that i spend it with the someone.
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