sunday before x'mas

yea, finally my christmas tree is up! spend half a day putting up my 6½ feet tree, but i think i have lost my touch, it doesnt look good this year....same as last year. guess i have to shop for new decos for the tree next year, maybe get a new tree too. i loved my friend's christmas tree last year, it was really beautiful and big, wonder what tree they got this year....yea, they threw away the last one. :p


its only a week to christmas and i don't feel a thing. whats up with that??? has modern civilsation caught up with me that i can't picture myself in a stable a thousand years ago, where a little child was born. the little child who has in a way been taken over by santa and hence the whole modern civlisation has covered the true meaning of christmas in order to capitalised on profit making. the whole idea of christmas has been too commercialised that one day we might think its santa's birthday!! And just look at what they have in the movies this year, Santa's Slay!? its like saddam in a santa's suite...yea, pray u are not in his list. man, what happened to good old fahsioned holiday movies like 'home alone', 'die hard' & 'lethal weapon' :p but seriously for those who remembered 'lethal weapon' and 'die hard', it had this classic x'mas song for the opening credits that just stick with u and make u feel chrismasy.


feeling christmasy? is there such a word?? if there is, i am certainly not feeling any. even being at yesterday caroling session, didn't lift my spirit one bit and just finding out that liverpool didn't win the world club championship; what more can i say. i guess my work has really gotten into me. it has not given me any space to breathe and to be me. even at mass today, where i attended the evening mass i almost broke down, which almost happened during the week also...but i know one day i will not be able to be strong anymore, so before i crash and burn, i guess it will be a good choice for me to look somewhere else. this life in the fast lane ain't for me and all the shit i am going thorough is certainly not worth it. which brings me to think, what is life all about for me! what's my reason living in this world?! can anybody answer me that or answer yourself? why are we here? are we here for some experimental project where aliens are actually our creator and we are just their experiment. once in a while, they would visit us and see how we are doing. the reason why america has most sightings is becoz they aliens are wondering what got so screwed up over there. ;p maybe they shld just 'take' bush and some 'experiments' on him....or maybe they already did, hence his fondness for saddam...hmmmmmmmm. ;p such is life. maybe it's brush up not beat up...bang up???? okie okie, i don't want to go any further, i guess it runs in the family, the father and son fondess for saddam!! which reminds of a song by level 42, 'running in a family'! okie, okie i think i better stop here, before i 'run riot' (def leppard). ;p


it's half past ten, and i'm listening to bon jovi live in concert on winamp. 'i am six feet under and i don't need a bed. i'll live my life when i am alive, i'll sleep when am i dead!' to those who went for the opening of 'ministry of sound'...damn, i wish i was there!!! lol. that's defintely gonna be my next club visit, next to 'the balcony'. for those who are with me, 'raise your hand, from new york to chicago, raise your hand'! yes, you got to keep the faith, we will be there to countdown x'mas!! talking abt x'mas eve, i absouely have no idea what's the plan this year since we are not doing the x'mas eve mass for once....or maybe the second time. the very first was when i just joined the choir and we had to sing at this private function of some young exec (yuppies). it was a nice bungalow house with a live size christmas tree at the front door, that was like in 87/89? we ended just at the stroke of midnight and rushed to novena for the midnight mass which was half way thru, some of the girls were still in our choir gowns as they weren't appro dress.


yea, those were the years of non air-con bus so we could shout to the bus stop or to sbs bus, 'merry christmas' and startled everyone in the bus or at the bus stop! but it can be quite embrassing when the bus manage to stop beside us at the traffic light! this is when we take cover behind our hanged uniforms. there was this other time where we had our usual caroling session at 'bayview hotel', the keyboard just had its mind of its own and played dead. so we had to sing the whole session accapella, it was real bad and that was the last time we ever heard from the hotel and so did mph on a different year! well, u win some, u lose some but most of all, i had fun caroling with the choir for ten years and now its for the new generation to have their own experience and have a story to tell one day! :)


well, the year started good for me but somehow got a bit on the down side but although it has not picked up, i am glad that i met someone that made me happy and she didn't come at a much better time than now, where i really needed someone to lean on and make me laugh. she's my good and best friend now, and i thank god for sending her to me even though our culture & religion are different. she has told me that i have re-open up her heart and made her see that there are good guys out there and she will take a chance again next year. she's willing to kick her old habits and start the new year on a right foot. she is the most sweetest thing that has happen to me and once again, i thank god for her. i am hoping though she will spend x'mas eve and also new year's eve with me, keeping my fingers crossed! new year's eve will be at my colleague's chalet at pasir ris costa sands, i think! not sure what's x'mas eve plan at the moment, so if u guys got a plan let me know. in the meantime, to everyone out there who happen to read my blog, hope u enjoyed reading it as much as i did tying it...hahahah!! Have youself a merry beautiful christmas where ever you may be!! God Bless you and your family!! :)