u-turn

it has not been a good week so far, maybe it's the mid-life crisis that i'm going thru. yes, i may look young n all, but i'm still three years shy of the big 40. so i guess i should shift the gear and take it easy..


last friday after the our regular session, something that jamie said stuck me... 'once u have found that intimacy with God, you'll never want to say that i don't need God anymore!' my first reaction was, 'hell no, i rather be intimate with an opp sex!' but then i thought to myself, what wld it be like to be on a level that u can't explain or to experience God like never before in your life. to tell u the truth, i find it a hard to raise my hands and do the lord of the dance.. but after talking to jame and adel, i found myself raising my hands up to him while listening to 'hands & feet - newsboys'. yes, let me be yr hands, let me be yr feet and go where u want me, go where u want me!!


not sure where he wants me go though!! to remain here and help out the church or to join the missionaries. i had two answers from two diff people who prac said the same thing, maybe my calling is not to join the missionary but to help out in the church, which is not easy thing to do. but then again, nothing is never easy. even He felt three times to save us, how much more must we fall to redeem ourselves. well, i guess it's abt time we stop being closet catholics and start to hunger for Him again!! Thru Him, everything is possible!!

The Bottom Line

aquarius


Instead of wasting time trying to encourage someone to grow up, go on without them.

Maturity is a possession, and unfortunately, someone you have to deal with today doesn't have it. . Instead of wasting your time encouraging them to grow up, leave them behind (if you can). Your leadership skills will come in hand if you must step in as the adult. Do not feel like you have to sugar coat your words.

you'll never walk alone

went to the docs this morning, had an x-ray done as he can't find anything wrong with my chest. everything is per normal.. so he gave something for the throat and the cough; to come back on monday to collect the x-ray result. i guess i'll know whats wrong with me only on monday, in the meantime, i'm gonna rest and relax at home - 2 days MC. guess we al need a break, once in a while.


thanks bro, ain't going anywhere till we visit anfield, yah!! YNWA!!

alive and coughing!!

the cough has just gotten from bad to worse... and my monitor is pretty screwed up. just when i though i had recovered ytd, but today - i am coughing and sneezing... sigh!! seems like my heart skips a beat everytime i cough, trying hard to catch me breath and thank god for a second chance. never have i been sick for this long or have been taking my medicines faithfully.. yes, i almost finishing it. well, if it happens, it happens... just hope i get a rocking send off..yeah!!

ministry of sound

before i blog, i wanna say thank you to those who have showed their concerns..really appreciate it. we don't need a lot of friends, just a few close ones will do coz u know that they'll be there with u forever.


got myself out of worried stage and went down to ministry of sound on saturday. seventeen ppl are going, mel told me , when was the last time this number. so i got off my sorry arse and went down to mos. found that the person that mel was liaising with was my ex-colleague. *it was good seeing you again, su* after getting all the details and numbers down, we were shown to our table, a real chill out area - sofas and pillows. as we settling down, the drinks just kept coming and it was a scary sight. what we had at the beginning was something one wld have half way thru the night where the table are full of drinks. we had two bottles of whiskey, one bottle of tequila, four jugs of mixers, and trays of shots. as usual we made new friends that night and met up with some old ones. after a while, i took a shut eye on the sofa.. and just snooze. as always, the night will always end with food - big breakfast @ macs before heading home sweet home not knowing when will be the next time we'll meet again. clubbing ytd was diff, i'm not sure why but i guess it'll be quite a while again till we step into one again.

big loser

question my faith today, i've spent two decades in the choir but nothing good was come out of it for me at least. i'm still single, no career and no future at all .. in short, i am just a big loser who have been blinded all this while.

signs of times

been coughing for more than a week now and it doesn't show signs of improvement. even the docs are puzzled with the symptoms as i did not have a fever or a cold prior to my cough... and i got it before the haze. what the docs did say that it's usually common among people with asthmatic history but i do not have an history or is it not to late to have one. I think what i have is asthmatic bronchitis (although i may be wrong), i do have difficulty breathing after coughing - i swallow my saliva just to clear my windpipe, just to be able to breathe again. for a few secs i am inbtwn life & death and its kinda scary;nope, i have not seen my life flashed before me.... at least not yet!! well, i hope it gets better soon.


oh yes, if u guys remember i wrote abt my little niece having a hole in her heart; well, it's not one but two holes in the heart. however, one hole has closed up and the other is slowly reducing in size. now, that's good news for everybody - miracles do happen!! :)

Foolish Heart

FOOLISH HEART
Steve Perry


I need a love that grows
I don't want it unless I've known
That each passing night
She'll want somehow
We'll be there read to share


I need a love that's strong
I'm so tired of being alone
But will my lonely heart
Play the part of the fool again
Before I begin


Foolish heart
Hear me calling
Stop before you stop falling
Foolish heart
Heed my longing
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore


Feeling that feeling again
I'm playing a game I can't win
There's knockin' at the door
My heart wants more
Think I'll let her in before I begin


Foolish heart
Hear me calling
Stop before you stop falling
Foolish heartHeed my longing
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore


Foolish heart
Foolish foolish heart
You've been wrong before


Foolish heart
Hear me calling
Stop before you stop falling
Foolish heart
Heed my longing
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore


Foolish heart
Oh, foolish heart
You've been wrong before
Foolish foolish heart

last rites

the calls have stopped, the sms have stoppped
back being all by myself again
good things never last or at least i tot it was
coughing like someone on a death bed
is it my time already?
is this how its suppose to end
i am not sure... but

i can feel that it will be soon......

Melvin's Birthday @ East Coast -30 Sept 2006

Melvin's Birthday @ East Coast -30 Sept 2006

the last plan

the plan was to celebrate melvin's b'day at east coast, what happened after that was all impromptu and everybody had a great time... i think!! well, i know the birthday boy did and thats all that matters.

Happy Birthday, bro!!

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

love this song by hinder, it just brought thoughts of someone not too long ago.

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

Honey why you calling me so late

It's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why you crying is everything okay

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And yes I dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me

Will it start a fight

No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

(And I never wanna say goodbye)

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late

bored!

i'm bored.... really really bored!! stayed home the whole day... sucks!! have not been in touch with the girl of late. guess somethings have changed btwn us and it cant be brought back. think i should start dating again.. find a nice hot gal to fill up my weekends.

time will only tell

sat came and went - the only highlight was @ starbucks with andi....ah!! came back home pretty early on a sat night actually @ 9pm. come to think of it, i was out since 9am - had wedding in the morning then lunch reception; headed to starbucks to chill out; back to church again for choir prac; attended mass; dinner @ kopi tiam then headed to bk to meet the rest but they left soon after - each having their own plans and agenda, so i headed home. i really missed the old days in the choir - the unexplained bond that we all have, nothing can replace it.

something to ponder on

rod and i were having a conversation about 9/11 the other day and carol was trying to digest it. a lot of questions were left unanswered though like where were the fighter jets. i didn't think much of it earlier, but if memory serves me right, a commercial airline was shot down years ago because it had diverted off it course: - 1983 : Korean Airlines flight shot down by Soviet Union!

that was like 18 years prior to sept 11, 2001; and i believe techonology has advanced so much since then. so why was there no warnings given or any actions taken when four airliners have diverted from its original course. there are also reports indicating that flight 93 was actually shot down: - "DC Envoy Says Bush Ordered Flight 93 Shot Down" so was 9/11 a hidden agenda?? well, one day we'll know the truth behind the lies.

we went on talking about the violence in indonesia, 'when two tribes go to war' - dayaks and the Madurese. what rod told us made my hair really stand; we all knew that the dayaks went ard head hunting the madurese for diff reasons but there's more to what happened back there and maybe even now. things that made people question their own faith, is there greater god. the dark side it is not, its something much more deeper than that. so say yr prayers and believe in yr faith and religion - as long as it teaches u good, u're on the right path.

FEBRUARY SMARTS

FEBRUARY SMARTS

Abstract thoughts.

Loves reality and abstract.

Intelligent and clever.

Changing personality.

Attractive.

Sexiest out of everyone.

A real speed demon.

Has more than one best friend.

Temperamental.

Quiet, shy and humble.

Honest and loyal.

Determined to reach goals.

Loves freedom.

Rebellious when restricted.

Loves aggressiveness.

Too sensitive and easily hurt.

Gets angry really easily but does not show it.

Dislikes unnecessary things.

Loves making friends but rarely shows it.

Horny.

Daring and stubborn.

Ambitious.

Realizing dreams and hopes.

Sharp.

Loves entertainment and leisure.

Romantic on the inside not outside.

Superstitious and ludicrous.

Spendthrift.

Tries to learn to show emotions.

it's better to be burn in hell, than to fade away!!

back in '95, i was intro'd to J by a good friend, C. we became real close that i wld forget my good friend at times. i wld finish work at 5.30pm but wld wait for J to finish work at 10.30pm at yaohan orchard (now known as plaza singapura) @ guardian. she was doing part-time there - during the day she's a child care teacher. so we wld head back to bishan, have a late dinner and juz hang out under her block till abt 2am. wld take the cab back and get trashed by my late dad for coming home late but i'll always give work as an excuse - this would happened every tues and thurs.

then one day we attended a dinner and dance by some community we were actively involved - a ballroom filled with indians. so we were liked a couple or thats wat she made it seemed to everyone else. she wld hug me tight, lean on me and act all mushy mushy. when i offered to dance with her, she looked at me shock amazement - wat wld the older folks think of us. n she happily went off to danced with some other guys; leaving all the uncles and aunties from other tables, looking at me with that 'isnt she yr girlfriend' kinda look. right, she isn't offically my gf so i had no right to tell her off. when everything was over, the four of us - C & J & another guy friend and me, spent the night at my good friend's place. no people, we didnt have any mass orgy. just remembered my good friend doing a slow dance with her crush and it was really beautiful.

anyways, the next morning, whilst sending J in a cab back home, i asked her if we could take a step further, and be serious abt each other. that's when she told me that she was still very much in love with her bf - she's just waiting for him to come back from his studies. so that was it, i told her the guy she was looking for was long gone one day ... the calls soon died after that. i remember crying in my workplace when no one was around. fast forward to yrs later, i met another girl but it ended the same way. her bf was in the army and i was a fill in whenever her bf was away. it doesn't end there, she still expects a ring, dress n shoes every month. i ended it there and then. a friend told me that i shld have at least bang them - looking back now i wonder why was i so naive. sigh...

back to the future, it just the same story all over again. of all the things i've said and done, it just meant nothing to you. words are easier said than meant. yes, i made u and many other girls realise that nice guys do exist but that's abt it. no more will i be a believer of love and everything that surrounds it. being used and trashed one too many times isn't my idea of a relationship nor friendship. girls still prefer the bad boys that wld provide them with wild sex, drugs & the rock n rolls of life!! so why be the nice guy when it's so much more fun being the bad guy. it's better to be burn in hell, than to fade away!!

another lost

there is one thing that will be on the minds of many liverpool fans - why can't liverpool beat chelsea in the premiership?? yes, we lost again but its okie, its still too early in the season and besides portsmouth is on top of the table. the retired club, as mel puts it. :p

guess my lung infection is about to make a return, could feel it whenever i cough. it seems like age is really catching up with me. gotta take things slow and easy.

i have ice cube on my mind

the good thing about having friends around is always the last minute plans that we make up. so last night i ended up @ minds cafe with - up, soffie, andi, mel, carol & me @ prinsep street. we had loads of fun acting up the charades and created our own rules as we went by. we left at 2am. up & soffie headed home; the remaining four didn't have any clue of what to do so we headed towards chijmes. soon we found ourselves infront of ice cube, met amanda & nicole there. didn't enjoy myself there though, was tired, the lights were playing tricks on my eye and the music was just too loud. left the place like 4am and slept in the cab ride home. spent the rest of sunday catching up on my sleep and woke up at 4pm.

gotta go out again soon to my bro's place and after that to melvin's place to watch the big game. its gonna be another entertaining night. you will never walk alone!!

weekend

i got my i-pod shuffle working finally, limeware here i come. :p anyways, i've watched russel peters 'show me the funny' and i must say that it wasn't as funny as the previous ones but stll enjoyable to watch.

it's another weekend with nothing much in store except work & church on sat and the big game on sunday - chelsea vs liverpool. its the game to watch.

but for now, it's bedtime and back to work in 7hrs time.

good night