guess i'm having the middle-aged syndrome, i will be pushing 40 in less than 2yrs and its very hard to imagine. its feels like i am just turning 30 but my internal systems keeps me in check of my rightful age; and it is slowly turning against me... sigh. little by little the fortress i built ard me is slowly breaking down as fear grip me once again. feel the need to withdraw from everyone to find myself again. deep down i am scared of the future like everybody else and i'm alone.
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