how do you deal

"How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebdoy else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how to I live...how do I deal without you"

just how i feel right now but i guess as days go by, it gets better. well, thats how life is, you win some, u lose some. anyways, ladies and gentlemen, today after more than ten years, yours truly went jogging. it was something that i was thinking of eversince the start of the year but laziness is my best friend. so today, while laziness slept in, i went joggin in the morning @ 0700hrs. at first i decided to take the short route, around my area only as i have not jogged or done any excercise for a long time. but somehow i decided to jog the long route, thinking i still have in me. barely 800 meters, i was panting already... lol. so i came up to avenue 2 leading to sembawang road after the ind park, i saw a jogging track beside the canal. figuring it will end up near the police station and the park, i took it. it was more like half jog and walk most of it. hahaha.. did u know that there is a fire station in yishun, i just knew. anyways, i kept walking n tried jogging every few times. somehow the end was never near, i knew i was lost..there was nothing in sight.
just forest inbtwn me and a canal. ocassionaly there wld be some cyclist and some ppl walking in the oop direction of me.

looking at the cut off on the pathway, it read i've come 1000 metres, still 1800 metres to go. i knew its not gonna end anywhere near the stn or park, but i kept on walking. then upon a turn, it was a straight path, and the scenery was beautiful. msg a friend that after living in yishun for 20 yrs, i tot i knew yishun very well, but i never knew this side of yishun existed, the scenery is beautiful even though i am lost. hahaha.. up in the distance i saw the canal opening up to a sea, i told myself, it couldnt be.... i was thinking that i have ended up at sembawang beach. upon reaching the end, i realised it wasnt anyway near sembawang beach but right next to the yatch club. the place was beautiful, johor was so close. sembawang shipyard was on my right. spent abt ten to fifteen mins admiring the scenery then i headed back. i saw a road leading out and i tot of taking the road route back. then i go my bearings and decided against the idea, the yatch club was just beside my former camp and its a long way from home by that route. i didnt take my wallet out too, all i had was my phone. so back to the path i went, it was eight am already. looked down at the yellow marking, 2800 meters it read. oh well, gotta be sooner or later... so i jogged 200m and walked 2002m and so on, until i gave up and walked the rest of the journey. i reached the end sonner than expected and walked all the way back. my legs and body were aching already.

so finally i reached home, had my shower and breakfast and wanted to crash but never came around it. message my Financial Advisor and met up with her, in the afternoon. my cpf investments did good in the market and we discuss abt other stuffs. i must she is looking good every time we meet. anwyways, goona meet up with tania later today after dinner. right now just lazing around and listening to 98.7 playing 80's music. just the other day i heard "sweet child of mine" and "song 2", i tot i got the wrong channel. whats the world coming to...i hear the mark richmond is the new boss of perfect ten..like i ask whats the world coming to... hahahaha! to all those who are reading this, thanks for your precious time reading this. now back to your regular programme. :p

Lush @ work

came to office in the morning @ 0900hrs, 2hrs late coz i woke up real late. good things its a sunday and there's no ard. the time now is 1900 hrs and i'm still here on a sunday. whats wrong with me??? hahahahaha..... well, after answering all the emails that keeps coming in non-stop, i managed to complete the report which apparently is a week due. a report of how many total calls and emails we have received each day and the breakdown of each calls and emails. Its in the excel sheet and the thing that get on out nerves is the formulas. its always screws up for one reason or another. But today, i finally found out where it usually goes wrong and somehow managed to correct it. the sense of achievement is wonderful...hahahaha. i also like to thank Lush 95.5 for chill out music that kept my patience intact. where was lush when i was studying. ;p anyways, gotta get out here and head home, shower, change and head to marie's place for her b'day. a need place to just chill out.. Lush Rocks!!

existence

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

- Barry Lopez -

of sleep and work

decided to delete all my previous post, change my skin (yet again) and add a new shoutbox...a horizontal shoutbox! well, just wanted a change from the old. also do support my second blog, its more on featured bands, artiste, dee-jays and cool stuffs. not your regular top 40 stuffs but ones i think deserves a listen to. cool stuffs like this 'medieval music mixer' that i came across on the website, its really cool.

other than that, life sucks or more like work sucks. the company finally got this guy in to replace shari but for some reason the three of us don't like him. maybe its because of his arrogant look, oh well you can win them all. suriani's last day will be next friday, 1st july and we're down to another person again, but i hear that they already found someone...if not its back to square one. which has made me think of this job alot. i have seen another post, its a 12hr shift work but they have more allowance on top of the basic, here i am getting basic only. its not worth the shit that we go through. if the management do not increase the wages and gives us shift allowances, i will look some where else...actually i am looking already. For the records, i am gonna miss su alot. she's like the best colleague i've ever worked with and a good friend. not sure what should i get for her, maybe dinner wld be just fine!

well, its almost 6am and i think i should get some sleep. sigh, this is what happens after working night shift for four days, i wasted one day off day already by sleeping the whole day and i've got one day left, hopefully i wont waste it by sleeping the whole day again. was just thinking about choir and the posiblity of me quiting it, also thinking of teaching pat to do sound. let's see how things go. ciao!